


I Just Can't Hide (I Kinda Like It)

by iktwabrokenbone (apiculteur)



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: 5+1 Things, Almost Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-19
Updated: 2014-07-19
Packaged: 2018-02-09 13:00:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1983927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apiculteur/pseuds/iktwabrokenbone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Josh and Tyler almost kissed and one time they actually did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Just Can't Hide (I Kinda Like It)

**Author's Note:**

> its supposed to be like each scene is about a year apart, starting in 2009 and ending in 2014. sorry for number five which is mainly just me transcribing an interview (i dont have that many ideas i kinda realised that at about number three)
> 
> title from semi-automatic by twenty one pilots (and is probably a gross misuse of the lyrics)

1.

The first time Tyler almost kissed Josh, it was the night they first really got to know each other, spending hours into the early morning talking. Tyler hadn't been too optimistic about them becoming friends when he'd first met Josh, but they ended up really hitting it off. And, yeah, Josh was pretty hot. He wasn't the sort of guy Josh usually went for- he just didn't find guys with dyed hair, tattoos, and piercings attractive usually- but no one could deny he was insanely pretty.

They just talked about how they both loved music so much, their aspirations to create a band and become really big, to have crowds sing along with their songs, screaming when they came onto stage, and it was like they were made for each other. Tyler didn't usually like telling people these things- he knew it was difficult for bands to get anywhere, no matter how amazing they may be, and it would be an unstable way to earn a living, which people always felt the need to point out with a sceptical look- but Josh just _got it_ , and wanted exactly the same thing. It was weird, and vaguely disconcerting, but not at all unwanted.

Tyler wasn't really aware of time passing, but somehow the clock told him it was three in the morning, so those six hours must have gone somewhere.

He hadn't been sleeping well lately, generally getting about an hour of shut-eye before waking up, then having to lie still for half an hour before he got his next hour of sleep, finally giving up and getting out of bed at five in the morning. By now, he was completely exhausted, his tiredness manifesting in the form of his eyelids fluttering, trying to close and let him sink into unconsciousness, but he fought to keep them open. Josh was saying something, but he was hardly awake enough to hear it. He found himself only really focussing on how beautiful Josh looked, and Tyler was leaning in, but something stopped him.

Josh's hand was on his shoulder, holding him back. "Dude. Maybe we should go to sleep. You can hardly even sit up straight, you almost collapsed onto me just then," he laughed.

 _I can hardly do anything straight_ , Tyler thought, and, oh, maybe he said that out loud, because Josh was laughing quite a lot more now.

"Okay, man. Definitely sleep now," he said, standing up and yanking Tyler up by the hand, too. He lead him into his bedroom and laid him down on the bed. "Night," he said, turning the light off and leaving.

Tyler tried to say something back, but it probably came out as a grumble or a yawn, and he was too tired to resist sleep by now. He didn't get up until it was early afternoon, and felt better than he had in weeks.

***

2.

The second time, he was at a party. He had went because his friend was there, and he had (naively) thought it was just going to be a small thing, and they would talk and drink shitty alcohol. Tyler sure had the drinking shitty alcohol thing down, but his friend had ditched him some point only a few minutes into the party, and he didn't know the way home, hadn't brought money to get a taxi back either.

He couldn't see his friend to ask for the money, and he didn't know anyone else there. For a little while, he had tried to mingle, but the closest he really got was a girl offering to get him a drink, to which he said no, but was presented with a unopened can of... _something_ a few minutes later, anyway.

At first, he didn't open it, because he wasn't really one for drinking, but parties were so _boring_ when the only person there you knew left you to fend for yourself, and no one else spoke or danced with you. It was unopened, anyway, so it couldn't have drugs in it. His mom was always warning him about only taking unopened drinks from strangers, and never to leave his drink alone. So he shrugged and drank it.

It tasted like artificial colours and flavours, and he didn't really like it at all. He finished it within a few minutes, and got given more, because somehow house parties always had a few people who, no matter how drunk they were, managed to make sure everyone else ended up just as trashed as they were.

He wasn't sure how many he'd had by the time he caught sight of familiar blue hair. It took him longer than it probably should have to realise it was Josh. When Josh turned around and locked eyes with him, he didn't look drunk, which Tyler was pretty impressed by, despite his inebriated mind. He kinda wished he had willpower like that.

Josh was walking up to him, which Tyler thought was awesome.

"Tyler?"

"Hey! You're awesome," he said, because Josh should know how awesome he was.

"Where's Mike?" he asked, ignoring what Tyler had said. He looked concerned, and he was glancing around, probably looking for Mike.

"He walked off just after we got here." Why were they talking about Mike? Mike was a dick. They should be talking about Josh. He told Josh this, only getting a frown in response.

"Okay. Let's get you home," he muttered, and Tyler was pretty sure he was just talking to himself. He didn't know why they were leaving, since Josh must've only gotten here a few minutes before he started talking to Tyler, but he went with it, because he thought maybe they were going on some sort of spy mission. That was usually why people tried to get you to come with them, right? He was either getting arrested or told some super secret spy information, and Josh wouldn't arrest him, he was pretty sure.

Tyler nodded very solemnly, and Josh grabbed him by the wrist to lead him out of whoever's house it was. They ended up in a beat up car, which was probably part of Josh's disguise as just a normal citizen. Josh strapped Tyler in, because Tyler was fumbling too much with the seatbelt. It wasn't his fault that it was so confusing.

They ended up outside Josh's apartment building. Josh helped him out of the car, and managed to get him into his bedroom with only a little struggle from Tyler, based on the fact that he wanted to pet Josh's cat, but Josh wouldn't let him. "C'mon, just get in here, okay? You can pet her later, Ty," he said, and Tyler pouted at him. Josh smiled, but pushed him back to sit on the bed, telling him to wait there.

Tyler kicked his legs, fascinated by the way they swung forwards before thumping against the wooden frame. Josh came back soon after that, a glass of water in hand. "Here. Drink this," he said, and Tyler looked at it distastefully but drank anyway. "Good."

It was about then that Tyler registered where they were. They were in Josh's bedroom. People had sex in bedrooms. They were going to have sex. Josh was probably just too nervous or something to kiss him.

Josh was standing right in front of him, so he grasped Josh's hand and pulled him a couple steps closer. "What is it?" he asked.

In response, Tyler ran his hand up his arm, until it was on his shoulder, and proceeded to pull him down towards him. Josh seemed to realise what he was doing, and stepped back, shaking his head.

"Lie down, Ty. You're drunk." Tyler wanted to be hurt, but he was actually really tired. He swung his legs up onto the bed, heard Josh leave the room, and stared at the ceiling for the minute or so before he fell asleep.

When he woke up, his memories of the last night were blurry. He remembered pulling Josh towards him, wanting to press their lips together, but Josh didn't mention anything, so he let it go. It was probably just a dream. It was vague and fuzzy enough to be one.

***

3.

Within Ohio, they were becoming reasonably well known. People came to their shows to see them, rather than happened upon their shows because they were playing in the bar whilst they got a drink. And, honestly, they were getting pretty good. Josh did a backflip every show, off a table if one near the stage was clear of drinks, from the piano or edge of the stage otherwise.

Every time, people who had been ignoring them before paused what they were doing and watched, sometimes turning back to whatever they had been drinking or doing before, and sometimes continuing to watch. Some bands had their stage gay, but Twenty One Pilots had their drummer backflipping for no apparent reason, and their singer climbing onto the highest thing he could find, sometimes jumping off it.

However they did it, they got peoples' attention. They were asked to play at a festival- just a small one, on a small stage, and quite early, but /still/- and they said yes almost instantly.

As they later found out, festival stages meant bigger speakers, and higher stages. Which meant that security shouted at them whilst Tyler climbed onto a speaker and jumped down from it. One thing he hadn't noticed when he decided to do this was that there was a small gap where two platforms had been put together to form the full stage. Which meant that his foot went through it.

He turned his head to look at Josh, saw him freaking out behind his drum set, missing a beat before continuing to play, almost questioningly. Tyler nodded at him, singing again and removing his damaged leg from between the two stages. It hurt, and was bleeding a bit- he wouldn't be wearing those pants again, then- but it seemed superficial.

The medical people beside the stage looked confused, so he grinned at them. There was only one more song left in the set, anyway. He moved a bit less, and walked straight towards the medical people after they were done. Josh followed him, looking angry as they bandaged his leg. They seemed slightly distressed, apparently having thought he was fine until he came up to them. Josh didn't say anything until he was all fixed up, at which point he walked backstage, fully aware that Tyler would follow after him.

"Dude, I told you to be careful. Why'd you do that?" he asked, looking almost as pissed off as he did worried.

"I'm fine. Just trying to keep things exciting. Make up for the fact there's only two of us, all that stuff," Tyler said, smiling to demonstrate that he was _fine_ , so Josh could stop looking so concerned about him.

Josh relaxed a bit, his emotions mellowing out a bit, and Tyler could swear Josh just glanced at his lips, so Tyler glanced at Josh's, more instinct than anything. It was about then that he realised that he kinda _really wanted to kiss Josh Dun_ , and he leaned in, and, wow, Josh was leaning in too, their lips would be touching in less than a second-

Except, of course, the paramedic cleared her throat purposefully, standing awkwardly behind them, and looking as though she really wished she was just about anywhere else.

"Um. Pain killers. For your leg," she said, holding out a bottle of water and a couple of ibuprofen.

Tyler nodded, coughing slightly. "Uh, thanks," he said, watching her rush away as he popped the pills into his mouth, and swallowed them down with the water as quickly as possible. He turned to look at Josh after he had taken another gulp of water- it was really hot and sweaty, dancing around stage, a man could easily dehydrate- hoping they would be able to continue what they'd been about to do, but Josh was looking at him very innocently, as though they hadn't almost kissed.

Tyler felt a twinge in his chest, and his heart dropping to the floor, but he just smiled, suggesting they look at a couple other bands before leaving.

"Maybe we should just head back..." Josh replied, trailing off. Tyler nodded, and they left.

***

4.

Usually, Tyler found it easy enough to write songs. It took a lot of time to get it right, sure, but he would have the words building up in his mind and in the notes on his phone for a few days, then would just slot them together, tweak them a bit, and fit them into a tune. It was something that came naturally to him. Music was a part of him. But, for some reason, he just could _not_ make this song work. It just sounded _wrong_ , and nothing he did made it sound better.

Since Tyler was used to writing songs by himself, him and Josh hadn't quite nailed down how this whole collaboration thing was going to work. Josh was giving input, but it was new and strange doing this, and didn't always work the same way. It wasn't necessarily bad, though.

Sometimes, they sat down and consciously decide that they would do something together. Other times, Josh just kinda overheard him doing something with a song and suggested a different way of doing it, or adding an extra noise here, making the noise there a different pitch or effect. There had been times when Josh would sit and edit together a track to match some of Tyler's lyrics, but those were rarer.

This time, Josh had came in, saying something about food, and overheard what Tyler was doing. "Hey Ty," Josh said, coming to stand behind him.

Tyler played the song all the way through, letting Josh hear. Josh didn't say anything for a few seconds. "Sounds cool, but do you mind if I...?" he asked, gesturing towards the keyboard. Tyler stood up, gesturing to the seat with a wave of his hand.

"Go ahead. Did you say you wanted food? I could order us Thai."

He hummed appreciatively. "Do it."

Tyler watched TV until the Thai arrived, deciding to let Josh do his thing. He trusted Josh would make it sound good.

Once it had arrived, he brought the food through to where Josh sat. Josh looked up, smiling. "I've edited that a bit. I think it sounds pretty cool, now," he said, standing up to grab the closest container and one of the forks Tyler had brought from the kitchen.

"Thanks man. Listen to it after we eat, yeah?" he suggested. Josh nodded, shoving as much of the shrimp and noodles into his mouth at once.

When they finished, they both pulled up a chair to listen through the song. It was _perfect_ , in Tyler's opinion, and he turned to Josh as soon as it was done, grinning. He wanted to kiss him for joy. The song had been wrong for over a week by now, and Josh had fixed it. Without thinking, Tyler leaned towards him, ready to press their lips together. For a second, Josh looked like he was going to lean forward, too, but he didn't, and Tyler realised his mistake.

Smile looking a bit more plastic and fake than before, he patted Josh's shoulder uncomfortably, in the way that manly straight guy friends did. Josh returned the smile, acting unaware of what had been about to happen. Tyler pretended to forget, too.

***

5.

They were actually famous. People were interviewing them. One of their songs reached number ten in the alternative songs category in Billboard. Their music videos were getting views on YouTube. They were going to tour with _Fall Out Boy_ , and Panic! at the Disco. Tyler hadn't actually heard much of Fall Out Boy's music before, aside from some of the really famous songs, like Dance, Dance, but what was important was that they were touring with _famous people_. People sang their lyrics back to them. This was what Tyler and Josh had spoken about for countless hours. It was amazing.

As great as it was, becoming famous, it also made Tyler realise how terrible at interviews he was. He mainly just giggled with Josh and lied about how they met, giving serious answers when he was given serious questions.

Right now, though, they were having to say twenty one things they liked about halloween. Which, really, became quite difficult after only seven things. They were completely bullshitting it after about the twelfth thing.

As it went on, Tyler started regretting calling the band Twenty One Pilots. They should've called it Five Pilots. It wouldn't have the same meaning, but it what it _would_ mean was that they'd only have to do five of everything when they did interviews, instead of twenty one.

It ended up just being the two of them messing around and eating candy, saying stupid things and half-heartedly trying not to laugh at themselves after they said it. Tyler sucked on a lollipop, taking it out of his mouth to stare at it. He kinda didn't want the rest of the lollipop so he held it out to Josh. Without thinking, Josh moved as though to take it into his mouth, before jerking back. "Wanna try?" Tyler asked, as Josh covered his face, saying that he shouldn't. They laughed, and Tyler offered it again. "Why not, bro? We're buds."

"Yeah, but," Josh laughed, trying to continue his explanation, "But..." Josh couldn't really finish speaking, as he was laughing too much.

"That'll look bad," they both said, giggling a bit.

Tyler looked directly at the camera. "Another one of my favourite things about halloween is sharing candy with my friends," he said, then held out the lollipop towards Josh without breaking eye contact with the camera.

Josh took it, looking determined, and Tyler laughed, once again wanting to kiss Josh. That seemed to be happening a lot, lately. They ended up talking about how it looked bad when they were only a two man band, then once again bullshitted the twenty-first thing they liked about halloween.

After they left the interview, they waited until they were alone before they stared at each other. Tyler took a step closer towards him, and Josh did the same. Josh _definitely_ wanted to kiss him, Tyler decided. They were _going to fucking kiss_. If they could share a lollipop in an interview, they could kiss in private, Tyler decided.

Tyler put one hand on Josh's shoulder, the other on the back of his head, and he felt Josh's hands resting on his hips. They were _so fucking close_ , and, of course, there was the sound of a phone ringing, someone answering it, saying, "Oh, yeah, let me just go somewhere private."

Footsteps were approaching, obviously coming towards them. Tyler just wanted to cry. Why do things like this happen to good people who just want to finally kiss?

Josh looked apologetic, and a bit embarrassed. Tyler knew they wouldn't be kissing when they got back on the tour bus, knew this would be something he would be supposed to forget, for the good of the band or something, and it wouldn't be discussed.

***

+1.

Whilst it was a big step up from the van they used to have, the tour bus was still pretty cramped. You couldn't really be alone on the tour bus. Tyler could probably count on two hands how many times he had been alone on the tour bus. Maybe even on just one hand. He wasn't sure, to be quite honest. But it was a very low number, anyway.

Tyler had learned that if he ever managed to get on the tour bus and it had only one other person, that was as close to alone as he would realistically get to being alone for a fair while.

Hotels were good, for this reason. They couldn't always afford a room- they weren't _that_ famous, they still had to eat rip-off brands of Lucky Charms, after all- but when they did, it was pretty much like living in the lap of luxury.

It was strange, not sleeping below Josh, though, not being able to talk to him until they fell asleep, so Josh would usually end up sharing a room with him. After a while, they stopped booking the extra room, and it took them longer than it really should've to notice.

But today was a hotel night, anyway, which meant Josh was lying down next to him, and they were talking. There was a lull in speech, so Tyler decided to take the leap of faith. Or maybe the leap of stupidity. Either way, he'd see soon.

"Josh?" he asked, and turned over onto his other side so they were staring at each other, rather than half-spooning.

"Yeah?"

"Why haven't we kissed yet?"

Josh looked confused and panicked, like he thought this was something they had silently agreed never to talk about. It was, really, but Tyler was breaking the rules, because they were both idiots, and one of them needed to mention it. "The band-"

Tyler shook his head. "The band will be fine, bro. We're buddies before anything else. You're my best friend. I kinda get the feeling that we're too close to be able to stop being friends."

Josh sighed slightly. "But what if we broke up?"

"Then we'd get over it, and be friends again."

"What if we didn't?"

"We would."

Josh said nothing, and looked directly at him. He seemed to be assessing whether or not Tyler was right (he was) before saying anything else. "Okay," he said quietly, and let one hand rest against Tyler's face.

Tyler grinned, and pulled him towards him, and they weren't going to get interrupted and pretend to forget about it this time. If they did, he may just have to stab someone.

Thankfully, their lips pressed together, and they were /kissing/ now. He had waited five years for this, and it had finally happened. Tyler sighed, parting his lips to deepen the kiss. They kissed for several minutes- _five years_ , guys, they had to make up for all that lost time- before they broke apart.

"Wasn't so hard," Josh muttered, allowing their foreheads to stay pressed together as they spoke.

"I dunno, man. Maybe we should try it again. Just to be sure."

Josh smiled at him, humming in agreement. "Just to be sure."

**Author's Note:**

> thank you fro reading. comments and kudos much appreciated.
> 
> also i have a [tumblr](http://bloodrunningdowntheirchin.tumblr.com/) for bands which maybe you wanna check out idk


End file.
